Stupid toilet planner

Anything wrong with this picture? Yes, you fucking idiot.


First, notice the handrails.
This place (the McDonald's in San Mateo near the Ihop) is obviously concerned with the safety and comfort of it's senior citizens. If you've ever been to a MiccyDee's at 6am you'll know that it's always some weird group of men over 65 talking about the weirdest shit. What the hell is NATO?

Now check out the TP dispenser. Notice the distance from the bowl, and the height at which it is placed.
Forget the fucking old timers I, a spry (and handsome) 30 year old man, had a hard time bending over from my seated poopy poo position to steal 5 inches of that sweet 40 grit public potty toilet paper.

"Whooooooooaaa there skintags, what the hell are you going to do with 5 inches of ass wipe?"

Good question, only reader of this blog.
I DON'T FUCKING KNOW!!! but that's all you're getting because the motherfucker is so close to the filthy public floor tiles. That grout absorbs AIDS and keeps it there. That's a fact.

That's right. I had to adopt this, up up down down left right left right method of extracting the paper to get the 14 foot length ANYONE with doodie on their firm fanny would require. This paper is simultaneously the thinnest and roughest material that man can devise. It's the only thing that you can read through but still take paint off of your '67 Nova with. If you don't bunch it up enough you MIGHT get a middle finger peek-a-boo. Or stink-a-boo if you wanted to be cute about it. Or peek-a-poo if you wanted to make me uncomfortable.  I don't believe in hell, but if it's real, I'm going to the bad pun level.

McDonalds, you're  ass fucking America with your terrible food at affordable prices. The least you can do is give a hard working attractive citizen a good place to make brownies.

*SCREAMING*If you moved the god damn dispenser just above the rail (which I can contend with better than the floor) I wouldn't be writing this fucking waste of bandwidth I call a blog post. Or maybe get a smaller fucking dispenser. Does it have to be the lalapalooza of the ass paper universe?

Again I walk away from an anal-based experience with my mind boggled.







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