My trip to Barnes and Noble

I saw some magazines.

You're on the cover of a magazine, you're posing with alcohol and yet you manage to look like the least fun person alive.  The title of the mag doesn't even suggest that he'll drink it.  He'll just patiently observe it.  

I don't know, I just find this picture hilarious. Is it me or does it look like she gave birth to this thing and is now offering to sacrifice?  And what's that guy gonna do with all those ducks?

Creepy ginger weekly. 

Look at which section seems to have been mindlessly ransacked.  I'm just sayin'.

So that was my trip to Barnes and Noble (or "barns and nobles" as your mom says).  I still can't stop laughing at that wine guy.  Maybe I'll stake the place out to see who buys it, cause that's the only guy I can laugh at harder.

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WTB (what the butt)

WTB!

SAME SIDE OF THE GODS DAMNED TABLE!
Who the fuck does this? Why? Who are these masked assholes?
Did they have a conversation at some point and agree to eat like creepy mongrel twins every time? Are there couples out there that have one person that wants to eat like this and the other person is normal? Who must acquiesce?
Obviously, crazy wins every time.
What are the odds that both people like to sit "topsy table?"(copyright)
Is this one of the many "levels of compatibility" on eharmony.com?

What's the advantage? Less elbie bow room? An asymmetrical table load? Yours truly stealthily taking your picture and ranting quietly instead of enjoying his far too cold Chipotle meal? Seriously, why is the meat luke warm and the salsa made of liquid nitrogen? Assholes.

You people fucking kill me.

Meet the Spartans?

I just saw that Meet the Spartans is on cable. There really should be a way to plant some sort of virus into a cable movie so that it makes your tv explode if you watch it. Or at least so the person watching gets AIDS.

That would be justice.

Movie cliche #887

Why is it every time a movie wants to show that something is happening globally they must include the stupid Jesus statue in Rio De Janeiro. How many people even know that it's in Rio De Janeiro? I thought it was fucking Sao Paulo. Who even know the difference between the two. I just know that I'm afraid of both and don't need a hooker badly enough to risk it.

If you're doing a movie, and you've got a scene where something happens to the whole planet, just swallow a lizard. If it's the right sort it'll eat you from the inside out. That should take care of it.


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